


Things Fall Apart

by Lillian



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: F/M, Infidelity, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-14
Updated: 2014-04-14
Packaged: 2018-01-19 08:38:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,149
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1462861
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lillian/pseuds/Lillian
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's the easiest thing in the world to screw things up for yourself.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Things Fall Apart

In the end, Levi fucks the kid.

It's almost inevitable, or so it feels at the time. He's always there, staring at Levi with smitten, puppy-dog eyes. Levi's never had a crush like that, a stupid teenager crush that's half hormones, half hero worship, but he knows how strong they can be while they last. Eren couldn't hope to hide it, doesn't seem to want to, actually. And he's always there, and Erwin isn't, off doing whatever needs doing by himself while Levi is stuck babysitting a bunch of fifteen year olds. They have made promises to each other, some tacit and some spoken, but in the Survey Corps you do what you have to survive. Erwin should know that better than anyone. So Levi fucks Eren, to get it over with.

It's brief, clumsy and boring, and Levi regrets it even before he's wiped his dick off. He'd have liked to forget the whole thing as soon as possible, but it makes Eren become even clingier. No one who spent more than five minutes with them could fail to notice the touching, the change in tone when he speaks to Levi, the breathless starry-eyed excitement, and that's a problem. It's childish and obvious, and Levi suddenly realizes he doesn't want Erwin to see it.

It would be embarrassing, and Erwin might be disappointed. In Levi's lack of standards perhaps, or Levi's lack of judgment, or Levi's lack of command of the situation. In something.

Levi waits for a moment alone with the kid, slams him against a wall and tells him where they stand, that this isn't a fairytale and they are most certainly not playing house, and the kid has the gall to look hurt. That makes Levi feel even more disgusted, with himself and Eren both. He hopes he has put an end to the whole thing before Eren decides he could overstep his boundaries even more with Levi, or worse, that he could do it with Erwin. He wonders what he had been thinking.

Eren tones it down, but he's still a stupid kid and stupid kids can't control themselves as well as Levi would like. Ackerman's the same, watching him with eyes so full of hatred it threatens to spill out like a revolting new type of body fluid, but that he can live with.

When he sees Erwin the next time, he's the same as always, collected, complicated and relaxing to be around. Erwin's only human and things don't always go his way, but he always does and says the right thing, the best possible thing, so naturally it looks to be on instinct. Levi's incapable of loving anyone, he thinks, but Erwin still means a lot to him - years of respect, comfort, companionship and closeness slowly accumulating into something unidentifiable but permanent between them.

Even if he notices anything, Erwin still says nothing about it to Levi. Levi's glad; something like this should be beneath Erwin's notice. They have sex in Erwin's bed, like always, a couple of times a week, like always, and afterwards Levi drifts off to the sight of Erwin working at his desk, yellow candlelight turning the outline of his blond head fuzzy and indistinct until it looks - to Levi's drooping, tired eyes, at least - like Erwin is dissolving into it.

On a day like any other, Ackerman bruises her knuckles punching a crate, and Erwin takes her aside. He would have used his office, before, but he doesn't have one now. He and Ackerman walk a little farther through the meadow surrounding their camp, far enough not to be heard but nowhere near the line of trees and the danger they pose. Erwin speaks to Ackerman for a time. Levi can see them both at first, Erwin's earnest face and Ackerman's bowed head, but then Erwin shifts so he's half-behind her. He puts his hand on her shoulder, and all Levi can see is his broad back, Ackerman completely obscured from view behind it. Erwin looks serene and Ackerman - shaken when they return, but there's no more hitting of crates or anything else, and Levi doesn't ask what the conversation was about.

Levi used to rely on his squad to keep him on top of gossip, and without them it takes a while to find out. He catches the tail end of an argument, Ackerman saying in a monotone "it doesn't matter who it is as long as it feels good" followed by Eren's confused protests. Ackerman, apparently, has not been spending her evenings polishing her gear as of late. She doesn't let it interfere with her duties and limits herself to men she meets at the towns they pass through, easily left behind with no trouble. It wouldn't have been big news at all, if it wasn't such a change from Ackerman's previous behavior - everyone had thought she was either dating Eren or saving herself for him.

After the coup, Levi passes Mikasa outside of Erwin's old office, now reclaimed. Her hair's neat, her maneuver gear harness is in place, her uniform isn't any more wrinkled than could be expected at the end of the day. Her blank, glinting eyes slide across Levi like he isn't there even while she salutes him, like she's found a way to let go of her rage, or learned to hide it better.

Inside, the window's ajar, the curtain half-drawn across it. Levi thinks about fooling around in Erwin's office, getting fucked on the bureau, blowing Erwin against the wall. They didn't even need to lock the door most of the time, Erwin just knowing when no one would be coming round. But the smell always stuck around, and Levi always opened the window before leaving.

A conversation, in the dead of night, that Levi didn't mean to start. Erwin talking with his eyes closed, head on the pillow and not on Levi's arm. Levi hated it when Erwin put his head on his arm anyway.

"Ackerman is a valuable asset, but she needed to become more mature to be truly useful. She thought she had reasons to be envious of you, and that made her resentful. I convinced her otherwise."

"And if she needs more convincing?"

"I'll provide it. It's important to secure our best assets' loyalties, now."

Levi doesn't ask anything after that, and they sleep side by side, their arms touching, and Levi barely wonders how Erwin is with Ackerman, if he's simply efficient, if he makes a point to learn all her weaknesses the way he had with Levi, if he goes to the effort to please her. And in the morning, when he looks at Eren's open face, all hopefulness and pushy affection, he doesn't feel a sudden, desperate urge to hit it and hit it until he sends Eren's teeth flying and the bones in his own hand shatter like matchsticks. Not at all.


End file.
